It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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