Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wish my penis had a tongue
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
