Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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