Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize