well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
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I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
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Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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