Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
