Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
