so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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