I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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