Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
