Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
