All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
