i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i think i just lost a toe
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
