girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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