Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
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My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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