we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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