There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
