Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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