hell yes lets make some ravioli
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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