When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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