I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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