Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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