My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
