I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
