Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
