your thong is hanging out like whoa
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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