We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
sarcasm needs its own font
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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