Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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