Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
