you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
