Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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