Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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