I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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