Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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