I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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