my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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