you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
