the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
