we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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