Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
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At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i drank out of a bidet.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
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Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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