There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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