I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize