just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
