Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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