Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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