I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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