hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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