forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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