pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
