I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
