my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
