You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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