hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
