I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
