A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
