No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
