drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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