She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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