As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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