You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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